


from the darkness to the light

by myrddinthewizard



Series: how to love a liar [12]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, GASP, M/M, They're all so stupid, Who's she?, as always we got long suffering the leon, elyan and percy are the cutest couple change my mind, having healthy conversation?, leon really deserves a pay raise for all he does for arthur, morgana is...getting there?, my dude, such a surprise i know, things are moving along!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrddinthewizard/pseuds/myrddinthewizard
Summary: Arthur tracked his eyes over the room. “What are you doing, Morgana? Merlin says you’ve changed. Sounds like bullshit in my opinion. Just two weeks ago you were ready to flay me alive.”“You obviously have faith in me, dear brother. Is it so hard to think that I’ve changed and realized the error of my ways?”“Yes.” Arthur snapped. “To me, it seems like you realized that you can’t beat Merlin so you’re finding another way in. If I had it my way, you would be locked in the dungeons by now.”“And why isn’t it? You are the king, are you not? What’s stopping you from lighting the pyre?” Morgana asked, leaning back on her hands. If Arthur wasn’t mistaken, there was even a flicker of amusement in her eyes.(aka where arthur realizes that he doesn't have to do this alone)
Relationships: Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), minor Elyan/Percival (Merlin), past Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: how to love a liar [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058711
Comments: 43
Kudos: 104





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Merlin BBC
> 
> (read series in order)

> _"_ _Merlin should take some of the credit. Turns out he's not always entirely stupid.”_ \- Arthur to Gwen

Merlin nearly fell into it. How could he not? He’d been aching for Arthur’s touch for weeks and now all he could smell was the faint whiff of lavender in his hair and the sweat clinging to his skin. But there was something about it that set Merlin on edge. A type of anger that bubbled beneath the surface. 

Arthur pulled back, his hand gripped the sides of his face like he was his lifeline. “Merlin. Oh my god. You’re okay. You’re okay?”

Merlin managed an awkward smile and carefully shifted out of Arthur’s grip. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m fine too, thanks for asking,” Morgana grumbled behind him as she stumbled to her feet. 

Arthur pulled Merlin forward instinctively but Merlin pushed back. “Easy. She doesn’t mean any harm.”

Arthur’s scoffed, the bright look in his eyes dying instantly at the sight of Morgana. “Are you serious? She—”

“—can still hear you.” Morgana strode up beside Merlin, ignoring the way Mordred stumbled back. “It’s nice to see you again, brother dear.”

Arthur swallowed roughly, backing away. “You—”

“Merlin!” Gwaine shocked himself into reality and gathered Merlin in his arms. Merlin laughed and pressed his face into Gwaine’s neck.

“Gwaine. You look terrible.”

Gwaine pulled back, his lips curling into a bright smile but there was a type of sadness still etched in his eyes. “Likewise. What the hell happened?”

Merlin winced. “It’s a long story.”

Arthur cleared his throat and Merlin pulled back instantly. “Merlin. What are we doing with Morgana?”

Morgana opened her mouth but Merlin beat her to it, shooting her a dark look. “She’s coming with us. To Camelot.”

Arthur’s gaze flicked from Merlin to Morgana. “You’re joking.”

“Nope. Where are the horses?” 

“We teleported here. With magic.” Mordred said, his voice tinged with confusion.

“Oh. Do you have enough energy to get us all back because I would use my magic but—”

“I’ll help.” Morgana cut in. “I’m pretty sure my magic’s alright. You need to get some rest. I’m afraid you use a lick of magic and you’ll combust.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Careful, Morgana. I might think you actually care.”

Morgana just snorted. “Don’t worry. I’d just rather not get trapped inside your head again. It was not fun.”

“It was mildly entertaining.”

“You’re just saying that because you pushed me off the cliff.”

A slow, small smile inched across Merlin’s face. “You got me. It was very satisfying. Ever since you poisoned me and kicked me off that ledge—”

“I was just returning the favor.” Morgana’s voice went hard.

Merlin shrugged. “So, we’re even.”

“That’s not how math works.”

“Ok, wait.” Mordred stepped forward. “What the hell is going on here?”

Merlin glanced up. “What?”

“So… I’m guessing that you worked things out?” Lancelot said, his voice hesitant.

Morgana rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you’d call it working out but we’ve come to a compromise. Though if Merlin fails me, again, I will not hesitate to kill him.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Don’t start this again.”

Arthur held his hands up. “Wait. Ok, I’m sorry. Morgana is not welcome back in Camelot. She committed treason—”

“So did I. You didn’t kill me.”

Arthur scoffed. “That’s different. If it was just magic then maybe but she tried to take over the entire kingdom. Excuse me if I don’t trust her after that.”

“You don’t have to trust her. You need to trust me.” Merlin said. He clenched his teeth and forced himself to meet Arthur’s gaze. “Do you trust me?”

Arthur only stared back, silent. Merlin sucked in a breath and moved forward. “You know me. I wouldn’t do anything to harm you or Camelot.”

“Do you trust Morgana?”

“I don’t. But I’m willing to give her a chance. Just like she did for me. I know that we have things to work out. Things that include the fact that you just kissed me, but forget about that. Forget about Morgana.”

Arthur let out a harsh breath. “I- I don’t—”

Merlin dug his nails into his palm, inching closer. “Arthur.”

“I know that you wouldn’t harm Camelot. But Morgana— if you can’t stop her-”

“I said to forget about her. Do you trust me?”

Arthur falters slightly, his eyes fluttering. “Of course I do.”

Merlin forced a smile. “Then give her a chance.”

“Fine. Fine. But she makes one wrong move—”

“And she’s gone,” Merlin promised.

“If you two are done talking about me like I’m not here.” Morgana pushed between them to Mordred. “I feel like I’m going to pass out. You ready?”

Mordred swallowed and met Morgana’s gaze. It was clear that he had a lot to say but seemed to realize that now wasn’t the time. He reached over and slipped his palm into Morgana’s. “Yeah. Come on.”

Gwaine jogged up and pulled Merlin close. “You’re telling me everything later.”

Merlin laughed, gripping his hand. “I have to tell a lot of people everything.”

“True. But you’ll tell me, like, _everything_. Not like some half-baked story that you’ll tell Percy and Elyan.”

Merlin winked. “Of course.”

Someone slipped into his free hand and Merlin jerked. Arthur gripped him hard and latched onto Mordred as well. Merlin’s eyes slipped to Lancelot, who just gave him a soft, almost pitiful smile. Merlin let out a breath and turned back to Morgana, trying his hardest to ignore that warmth that seeped from Arthur’s skin. “Home?”

Morgana’s gaze flickered from Arthur to Merlin and then her lips quirked up. She locked eyes with Mordred. “Home.”

And they disappeared.

* * *

Merlin opened the door carefully. Gaius was slumped over at his table, flipping through a book. Merlin inched forward. “You look bored out of your mind. Would you like some cheering up?”

Gaius jerked, nearly falling off of his bench. “Merlin?”

Merlin grinned and helped him to his feet. “Gai—”

Gaius pulled him into a hug. “Oh, my boy. Thank the triple goddess. Are you alright?”

Merlin gripped Gaius’ arms. “Yeah. Bit of a headache and my magic’s wonky but nothing a good night's rest can’t fix.”

Gaius sighed. “I’m surprised I’m still alive and healthy. Honestly, Merlin. One of these days, I’m going to get a heart attack from the stress you give me.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Gaius gave a broad grin. “Have you checked in on Gwen yet? She’s been worried out of her mind.”

“I haven’t. She wasn’t at her home.”

“Check Sir Leon’s chambers. She must be there. Is everyone back okay? Where’s Morgana?”

Merlin smiled shakily. “She’s here.”

“What?”

“Like, in the castle. I got one of the servants to set up her old room.”

Gaius pulled off his glasses. “Morgana’s here. She’s back?”

“You should talk to her. We’ve come to an agreement. Hopefully, it doesn’t end terribly.”

Gaius waved Merlin off. “Right, of course. You should go check in with Gwen and the others. I do expect a full explanation by tomorrow.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. “Everyone does. I should set up a conference so I don’t have to repeat it seventeen times. I feel like that would go well.”

Gaius pushed Merlin away. “Go.”

Merlin pouted but backed away. “So eager to get rid of me? You should be thanking me, really. You can finally get some work done.”

Gaius looked like he was going to smack Merlin over the head but Merlin just shot him a grin and slipped out. He made his way to Leon’s chambers and gave a tentative knock.

“Come in!”

Merlin pushed the door open and peeked inside. “Surprise.”

Leon and Gwen were crowded around his desk. Gwen jumped, her head whipping up. “Merlin?”

Merlin stepped inside and shut the door behind softly just as Gwen launched herself up and tackled him. Merlin sputtered out a laugh as he hooked his arms beneath Gwen’s thighs and pulled her closer. “Nice to see you too.”

“You’re such an idiot. Do you know what you did to me? I had to deal with stupid fucking court members all week and I probably pissed Leon off every day with my anxiousness—”

Merlin snorted and dropped Gwen to the ground. “Can I make it up to you?”

Gwen pouted and crossed her arms. “How?”

“Have I ever mentioned my dragon? Not the big one that nearly Camelot. The other one.”

Gwen stared. “Are you serious? Gwaine was blabbering about seeing one the other day but I thought he was joking.”

Merlin offered out a hand, grinning. “She’s probably worried. Do you want to come with? Or do you have court matters to take care of?”

Gwen frowned. “Don’t you need some rest? I don’t know what the hell happened but—”

“I probably do. I need to go get Aithusa, though. And I would appreciate some company. I can explain some things if you want.”

Gwen hesitated and glanced back at Leon. “Um—”

Leon just snorted and waved her off. “Go. I’ll probably get more work done without you. Honestly, I’m glad Arthur never married you. You would be a terrible queen.”

Gwen rolled her eyes and flicked his head, ignoring his sputtered response. “You’re just jealous that I’m smarter than you. I’m going to get ready. Bye, Leon.”

Leon just grinned, his voice teasing. “Bye, Gwen.”

Gwen gathered up her stuff and patted Merlin’s shoulder. “I’ll meet you in the citadel in 10? I need to go yell at Lancelot.”

Merlin quirked his lips up. “Don’t be too hard on him. He’s dead tired.”

Gwen didn’t bother responding as she slipped out, the door swinging behind her. Merlin let out a breath and turned to Leon. “Hey.”

Leon just smiled softly. “Hi.”

Merlin inched forward. “Listen, are we alright? I know we haven’t talked much with everything going on.”

Leon sighed. “You have Gwen, yeah? And Gwaine and Lancelot and basically all of Camelot. I’m not trying to take sides but Arthur’s my best friend and I won’t pretend to know what going between you two but—”

“I get it.”

“I’m not invalidating you or saying that I’m no longer friends with you but—”

Merlin stepped forward. “Leon. I get it. Honestly, I’m glad. The last thing I want is for Arthur to be alone. He’s already gone through so much. I’m glad you’re there for him.”

“I’m just doing your job, Merlin. He’s been a disaster since you left.”

“It’s not my job to keep him in place,” Merlin said. “Maybe it used to be but that’s not my fault. You’re his best friend. Not me.”

“Yeah. You’re more than that.”

Merlin clenched his teeth and sat down, leaning across the table. “Look, I don’t know what’s going through his head, alright? I don’t know what he wants from me or what he thinks our relationship is but he has no right to push me away or pull me close based on what he wants at the time. He doesn’t get to flip it around whenever he wants. One moment he won’t even look at me and the next, he’s kissing the life out of me because he thought I was dead. What am I supposed to do with that?”

Leon didn’t reply. He looked away, rubbing his forehead. 

“I understand that you’re supporting Arthur but don’t do it blindly. I’m not saying that I’m perfect and I’m not at fault but maybe you could do me a favor and ask Arthur what the fuck he wants from me.” Merlin snapped. “I’m not waiting around forever. I got Mordred back and I got Morgana back and I’m going to make some changes.”

Leon sat up. “You got Morgana back?”

“Ask Arthur about it. I’m out with Gwen if anyone asks.” Merlin stood up and strode away.

Leon spoke softly just before Merlin shut the door. “Don’t ask me to talk to him about what he wants. Ask him yourself. Neither of you are communicating with each other and the least you could do is clear the air.” 

Merlin pursed his lips. “I know.”

Leon chewed on his lips slightly “I’m glad you’re back, Merlin. Really. I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah, well. I’m going anywhere. Take care, Leon.” And Merlin turned to leave, shutting the door firmly behind him.

* * *

Arthur watched as Morgana ran her hands over the thin sheets on her bed. He cleared his throat. “The last time someone stayed in here was nearly a month ago. Many citizens had to evacuate their homes since it was burned down by the phoenix you so graciously sent.”

“Someone used my room?”

“I’m sure you're glad that no one is using it now.”

Morgana raised an eyebrow. “I would’ve taken it anyway.”

“Of course you would have. You just love taking things that aren’t yours, yeah?” Arthur bit out.

Morgana stiffened. She clenched her fingers on the sheet and looked away. “Leave me.”

“I don’t think so.”

Morgana snorted. “Are you planning on camping out here? Would you like to share the bed? I’m sure it’s big enough for both of us.”

“You would let me sleep in bed with you?”

An almost wistful smile curled at her lips. “I did once. Do you remember? You came into my room crying because Uther was yelling at you. You fell asleep here.”

Arthur tracked his eyes over the room. “What are you doing, Morgana? Merlin says you’ve changed. Sounds like bullshit in my opinion. Just two weeks ago you were ready to flay me alive.”

“Bold of you to think that I still don’t want to.”

Arthur stepped forward. “Are you manipulating him? Is this some extravagant plan to worm your way into the heart of the kingdom?”

“You obviously have faith in me, dear brother. Is it so hard to think that I’ve changed and realized the error of my ways?”

“Yes.” Arthur snapped. “To me, it seems like you realized that you can’t beat Merlin so you’re finding another way in. If I had it my way, you would be locked in the dungeons by now.”

“And why isn’t it? You are the king, are you not? What’s stopping you from lighting the pyre?” Morgana asked, leaning back on her hands. If Arthur wasn’t mistaken, there was even a flicker of amusement in her eyes.

Arthur instinctively clenched Excalibur from where it hung from his belt. 

Morgana just laughed. “You’re funny, Arthur. Do you really not realize how hypocritical you’re being? Merlin betrays you and you push him away. But when you see it fit, you miss him and kiss him and listen to him and trust him. Why the hell am I here? You clearly don’t trust me. You say you trust Merlin but to this day, you’re still pushing him away. What are you doing?”

“What happens between Merlin and I stays there. I wouldn’t want you to worry yourself with our relationship.”

“Maybe that’s your plan. You’re stuck between what you want so you took me in, hoping that I would attack and Merlin would fail and you would have an excuse to toss him away for good. Not a bad plan, really.”

Arthur sputtered, backing up. “Excuse me? You think so low of me that I would risk my people just to have an excuse to push Merlin away?”

"Or maybe, you’re risking your people because you don’t want to push him away.” Morgana rose to her feet. “You don’t know if you trust him but you said you did because you know that if you say no then that’s it. There’s no going back. And you made the decision to risk all of Camelot to try and scrape up the broken pieces of your relationship.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “You don’t shit about me.”

“I know enough.” Morgana snarled. “Get over yourself, Arthur. Merlin and Gwen just ran off in the woods. It’s just you and I. I wonder what’s stopping me from killing you right here. It’s not like your flimsy sword is going to do anything.”

Arthur frowned. “Merlin and Gwen?”

“One plus side of being stuck in Merlin’s head. It leaves some lasting effects. If you want, I’ll let you know when your boyfriend comes back.”

“He—”

“Don’t be stupid, Arthur. Leave me be. I need time to finalize my _extravagant plan_.” Morgana snapped, shoving Arthur back. “Nice talk, though.”

And the door slammed in his face.

* * *

“I can’t believe you never told me that you gave birth to a dragon.”

Merlin choked on a laugh. “I just named her. Besides, I’m not her father. That’s disgusting.”

Gwen shrugged and tracked up the hill. “I’ve never visited a druid camp before. Elyan has though. My mother took him when they were young.”

“Your mother?”

Gwen swallowed. “She had magic. I’m only glad she died from disease rather than the pyre.”

Merlin skidded to a stop. “Oh my god. Gwen, I’m so sorry.”

“Elyan was always her favorite. Just like I was father’s. He was young, only seven if I’m not mistaken when mother took him. He told me all about it afterward. He said it was amazing. Like a breath of fresh air. Elyan was always fascinated by magic. I know that part of him wished he had it.”

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. “I didn’t know that you were so—”

“—okay with magic? Yeah. I mean, obviously, I understand why you didn’t tell anyone. For the same reason, I always thanked the gods that Elyan didn’t have magic. For the same reason, my father died, even if he was innocent. But you know, that doesn’t matter anymore. You’re free.” Gwen nudged him slightly.

“It’s weird. Magic is legal but it seems like nothing has changed.” Merlin muttered.

“It doesn’t feel as fulfilling as you expected? Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

Merlin sighed. “I spent my entire life beating myself up for abandoning my people. For protecting a man who would’ve seen me and my family dead. And now, I’m free. But it’s like I’m not even there for it. I missed it all.”

Gwen stayed silent, obviously understanding Merlin’s need to just get everything off of his chest.

“I’ve always had this dream that I would confess to Arthur. And he would be angry, obviously, but he would come to accept me. And then one day in the middle of the court meeting, he would repeal the laws. For me. And it would grand and he would tell the entire court. Maybe it was selfish to think that but he would and—” Merlin broke off his voice trembling. “And we would build Albion together. This great, golden kingdom and be happy. But obviously, that was just a stupid fantasy.”

Gwen sighed softly and linked her arms through his. “You’re right. That was a stupid fantasy.”

Merlin snorted. “Thanks, Gwen.”

A cheeky grin spread over her face. “Anytime.”

Merlin scuffed the toe of his boot into the ground. “We’re almost there. You’re going to love the camp. The entire place practically vibrates with magic. It feels like… home.”

Gwen gave him a sideways look. “I’ve known you for nearly a decade. That’s crazy to think about but it’s true. And in all the time we’ve been friends, you’ve never once lost hope. In fact, you were always the one who encouraged us and supported us. You, Merlin, were essentially the backbone of Camelot. Arthur may be the king, but you were the heart. Don’t lose faith.”

Merlin slowed to a stop at the top of the hill. “The reason I had faith was because I believed in Arthur. And I believed in myself. And I thought that Arthur would come around but— but what’s the point, Gwen? I have no goal anymore. No purpose.”

“And you think I have a purpose? Merlin, I’m just as lost as you. We’re all stumbling through life. I don’t know where it’s going. I’m just a serving girl. I’m just a blacksmith. I’m a woman and a friend and a sister and I’m getting courted by one of the noblest knights in the army. My goal in life is just to live it. To be the happiest I can be.” Gwen stepped closer, grasping Merlin’s hands.

“You’re not happy, Merlin. You’re not satisfied. So instead of moping around and moaning that your fantasy wasn’t real, go out there and make a new one. You've already started, even if you don't realize it. Build another dream. And if that fails, then you make another one. And even if you spend the rest of your life failing and making and dreaming, I promise you. At least one of those thousands of dreams will come true. Have faith.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. we got merlin + morgana, morgana + arthur, gwen + leon, leon + merlin, and gwen + merlin. fascinating. what am i missing?
> 
> lmao, ok so this is kind of scattered but this is basically just a set-up for what's to come so nothing much happened. the rest of gang will interact more because we got a hell lot of confrontations. DON'T WORRY, merlin + arthur will come. hopefully. maybe. and it'll be glorious(ly angsty).
> 
> ahh, anyway stick around. things will start to pick up again because we can't have them be relaxed. no, that would be terrible :)
> 
> also: i'm running out of reveals to do. if you couldn't tell. and that's basically what this fic was _supposed_ to be. so if there anything i'm missing that my brain just forgot about just lmk your thoughts and if there's anything you would like to see bc let's be real, i'm literally making this up on the spot. it's a process really. i post the chapter and then two days later i sit down and spew out words that miraculously make coherent sense and that's basically it. thought-out plans and storylines are highly overrated anyway. and way less fun.


	2. part 2

Elyan raised an eyebrow, entirely too amused. Gwaine flopped over the bed, his hair practically brushing the floor. “Long story short: I’m gonna die. And no one is going to care.”

Elyan leaned forward and poked Gwaine’s cheek. “Are you drunk?”

Gwaine frowned. “I’m completely sober, thank you very much. You don’t know what I would give to be drunk right now.”

Percival nodded seriously. “Right. And why aren’t you drunk?”

Gwaine sat forward, let out a heavy breath. “Apparently I have a problem. I’m trying to stop drinking so much.”

Elyan shared a glance with Percival. “Because Merlin asked you to?”

Gwaine shot him a dark look. “ _No._ Because I recognize that drinking so much isn’t really good for my health and—”

“Oh my god, Gwaine. Cut the crap. You’re obviously hung up on Merlin.” Percival muttered.

Gwaine scrunched up his face. “I am not.”

“You thought that maybe you and Merlin were getting somewhere and you got your hopes up but then Arthur swooped in again and kissed him and now you understand that you never really had a chance in the first place.”

Gwaine glanced down.

Percival leaned over and gripped Gwaine’s leg. “You’ve got to move on. You know Merlin. Arthur’s it for him. And they have shit to work out but you know that even if Merlin does like you, he would drop you like a hat if Arthur came calling for him back.”

Gwaine rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up. Don’t talk to me while you’re in a healthy stable relationship. Honestly, you’re both revolting.”

Elyan furrowed his eyebrows. “I think what’s more revolting is you moaning over Merlin for the past seven hours—”

“I have not. I just- Merlin deserves more than Arthur and he doesn’t realize it. And what type of friend would I be if I let him go right back into Arthur’s arms.”

Elyan leaned forward. “Why don’t you leave that to Merlin? Let’s be real, Gwaine. You need to get laid.”

There was a sudden knock on the door and all three of them glanced up as the door cracked up, revealing Merlin. “Hey. Oh, you’re not alone.”

Gwaine raised an eyebrow. “You wanted me alone?”

“Merlin.” Percival grinned. “Nice of you to finally drop by.”

Merlin nodded. “I’m so sorry. Things have been crazy and I’m still trying to figure things out and I just really need a favor from you, Gwaine.”

“What’s up? Come inside. Quit hovering.”

Merlin winced and shut the door. Elyan frowned. “He seems a bit frazzled.”

Gwaine moved to stand up when the door swung open again and this time, Merlin wasn’t alone. Percival had to clench his teeth together to mask his yelp as a white dragon crawled in after Merlin. Elyan’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t know where else to go and Arthur would kill me if I let her loose so do you think she can stay here for some time?” Merlin quietly shut the door behind him. “She nearly destroyed Gaius’ chambers and I don’t want to leave her in the woods again until she can defend herself properly. I’m not making that mistake again.”

Gwaine stumbled to his feet. “You want me to keep Aithusa here?”

“I’m dreaming. Perce, am I dreaming?” Elyan whispered.

Percival just grinned in response. “Nope. You’re not dreaming.”

Elyan crept forward towards the dragon. “Oh my god. She’s beautiful.”

Merlin stroked her scales softly. “Yeah. It won’t be for long. Just for a day or two while things settle down. I was going to go to Lance but he’s with Gwen so you were my next best option.”

Gwaine frowned. “You went to Lancelot first.”

“Don’t do that. He’s known for longer and I— you know. Anyway, I have to get going. I need to make sure Morgana doesn’t kill everyone.”

“About that.” Percival started. “Gwaine told me she’s okay now?”

“She’s… we’ve come to a kind of truce.” 

Percival chewed on his lip slightly. “A truce. After she nearly destroyed all of Camelot.”

Merlin let out a heavy breath. “Don’t question my decisions. I know what I’m doing. Gwaine, can you watch over her tonight?”

Elyan carefully ran a hand down her back. delighted when Aithusa softly butted her head into his chest. “Can I keep her?”

Merlin blinked. “Really? You would be alright with that? It’s not going to be for long since she doesn’t belong in a castle but—”

“Oh, hell yes. I can keep her in our chambers and I’ll set up a little place for her in the corner.”

Percival wrinkled his nose. “She’s not a pet, El. And I’m certainly not letting her into our chambers.”

“Don’t be a spoil-sport. It’ll be fun. I’ll take care of her.” Elyan glanced up at Percival, pleading.

“It’s no sweat if you can’t,” Merlin said. “She’s my responsibility but I just need her off my hands while I get Morgana under control.”

“Elyan and Perce will take her.” Gwaine leaned forward. “As much as I love you, Merls, I’m not keeping a dragon in my chambers.”

Percival made an indignant noise. “Hey. I never agreed to this.”

Elyan stood up, grinning. “But you love me so you don’t get a choice.” Elyan leaned forward and kissed Percival’s forehead. “It won’t be for long. I’ll make it up to you once she’s gone.”

Percival raised an eyebrow. “Will you?”

Gwaine mock-gagged. “I can’t. Merlin, save me from them.”

Merlin was silent, his eyes etched with a broken type of sadness that sobered Gwaine immediately. “I should go. Aithusa already ate and everything so just make sure she doesn’t destroy the place. She’ll calm down if you’re calm but if needed, just call me and I’ll sort it out. Thanks, Elyan. Percy.”

Elyan furrowed his eyebrows. “Of course.”

Merlin forced a smile and nodded to Gwaine. “See you around.”

Gwaine stumbled to his feet. “Merlin.”

Merlin paused, glancing back. “Yeah?”

“I—” Gwaine swallowed roughly, and then took a step back. “I mean, nevermind. Let me know if you need anything.”

Merlin smiled softly. “Of course.” And then he was gone.

* * *

Arthur had to clench his teeth to stop himself from yelling at the man. He’d tried to replace most of the court once his father died but there were still a few lords that Arthur had to keep for the sake of alliances and formality but this particular man, Lord Gareth, was getting on Arthur’s nerves.

“All I’m saying, your majesty, is that I think it would be wise to hold off on any druid relations. The magic was already a huge step and the citizens are still adjusting to that change. We mustn’t move so fast—”

Arthur leaned forward. “I was under the impression that we were going too slow. I legalized magic over a month ago and the people are still scared. Establishing relations with the druids would help ease us on that path to freedom.”

“I understand that.” Lord Gareth said, and Arthur had the sudden urge to see if that mop of sleek hair on his head was a wig or not. “But the druids have always been extremely unpredictable. How can we trust that they won’t attack us when we let them into our kingdom?”

“The druids are peaceful. If we are civil, then they won’t attack. I give you my word. I’ve gone to a druids camp—”

“You’ve gone to one druid camp, my lord. How do we know that others will be as accepting?”

Arthur dug his fingers into his palm. “Lord Gareth. I understand where you’re coming from. We suffer from the same thoughts whenever we try to establish an alliance. We have to trust that the druids will be peaceful. As long as we welcome them with open arms, I’m sure that nothing out of the ordinary will occur.”

“But Arthur—”

The door suddenly slammed open, causing the entire court to jump. In the center, stood Morgana. She had traded her filthy rags for something a little more reminiscent of her past, though the lace was still black and her hair tumbled down her shoulders in waves. “I’m disheartened, Arthur. I thought you would have invited me.”

Arthur had been adamant about making sure that the least amount of people knew that Morgana was back. The last thing he needed was a wave of panic. And judging by the looks on some of the court members, that failed.

Arthur jerked to his feet. “Morgana—”

There was a loud crash and Merlin suddenly skidded into view, panting heavily. “What the hell, Morgana? I said to wait not to knock me out and go yourself.”

Morgana shrugged, glancing back. “You were stalling. You might fancy waiting for Arthur’s permission but I don’t really care.” She turned back to Arthur and strode in gracefully. With a simple wave of her hand, the entire row of chairs shifted down and a new one appeared right next to Arthur. “Shall we start over?”

For a moment, everything was silent. But then, the members were startled into reality. They scrambled up and out of their seats, gaping. Morgana merely smiled and patted the now empty seat beside her. “Come sit, Merlin. We have lots to discuss.”

One particular lord that Arthur couldn’t remember the name of for the life of him staggered out of the courtroom and half of the others followed. Lord Gareth pressed himself to the wall, petrified. Merlin caught one of the members. “Easy. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you.”

The man simply tore himself from Merlin’s grip. “Are you crazy? That’s Morgana! She has magic and she’s going to kill us!”

Merlin stepped back and allowed him to stumble out until there were barely a dozen people left. 

Arthur’s chair slid against the floor. “What are you doing?”

Morgana folded her arms. “We’re talking magic, yes? Shouldn’t I be a part of the conversation?”

Arthur slammed his hands on the table, quieting everyone. “Everyone out.”

Leon winced, looking around. “Sire—”

Arthur leveled a dark look at him, silencing him instantly. “I said _everyone out_.”

Leon was frozen for half a second before he was shocked into movement and helped escort the members out. Lord Gareth’s eyes were locked on Morgana as he addressed Arthur. “My lord? What is the meaning of this?”

Leon slid up to the man and whispered something in his ear, carefully pulling out of the courtroom. Arthur silently thanked all of the gods he knew for Leon’s uncanny ability to calm people. Arthur stormed around the table and slammed the door shut before the lord could question him further.

“It was Morgana’s idea.”

Arthur whirled on Merlin. “Was it? What the hell were you trying to accomplish?”

“She knocked me out,” Merlin muttered.

Arthur scoffed in response. “And you let her?”

“Easy boys. I wouldn’t want to tear you guys further apart.” Morgana drawled, unconcerned about the sheer panic that Arthur knew would quickly spread to the lower town once they found out.

“Are you out of your mind?” Arthur growled.

Morgana shrugged, leaning back. “Mildly. You should know this by now.”

Arthur dragged a hand down his face, turning back to Merlin. “I’m not doing this. Get her out of here.”

“Or we could all sit down and talk this out?”

“Talk this out? What would you have me do, Merlin? I cannot just let Morgana into my castle and be in the public like this. The entire kingdom is going to think she’s enchanted me or something.” Arthur bit out.

“No. We’ll figure this out.” Merlin started.

Arthur let out an almost hysterical laugh. “Don’t be naïve, Merlin. It doesn’t suit you.”

Morgana drummed her fingers. “Sit down, Arthur. Honestly, you’re stressing me out.”

“I’m stressing you out?” Arthur’s voice grew to a yell. “Are you serious? What do you want from me?”

“What I want is for you to shut up and sit down.” 

Arthur swallowed a frustrated growl. “Get out. Go and live in a hovel or something, alright? You don’t belong here. If you promise to leave Camelot alone, I might let you live.”

Morgana rose to her feet. “How merciful. It’s a shame that I can’t promise that.”

Merlin shoved between them. “Ok, listen. If we want this to work then we have to listen to each other.”

“This isn’t going to work. What is wrong with you, Merlin?”

Merlin fisted his hands on his hips. “Excuse me?”

Arthur gave a bitter laugh. “Just a few years ago, you were more than willing to kill a child because he might one day in the future kill me and now you’ve invited the enemy into our home?”

Merlin sighed. “That was my problem, Arthur. I didn’t give them a chance. And now—”

Arthur shook his head. “No. No, it’s too late for that.”

Merlin moved forward. “You once told me that you could’ve saved her. This is your chance. We can fix this—”

“Ok, can I just say something before I actually kill both of you?” All the amusement drained from Morgana’s voice and Arthur suppressed a shiver. “Sit down. Both of you.”

Arthur pulled out the nearest chair and practically collapsed into it before he could think better of it. “Fine. You want to talk? Let’s talk. What do you want?”

Morgana leaned forward. “As satisfying as it was to watch your court members run petrified from me, that clearly won’t do. Let’s be real. They’re never going to accept me.”

Arthur threw his hands up. “Exactly. See, even Morgana understands this. What is the matter with you, Merlin?”

Merlin clenched the table. “I’m not saying that the people have to accept her right away. Obviously, it’s going to take time. I’m saying that you don’t know a lot of things about magic and it might be beneficial to listen to us.”

“Are you talking about a court sorcerer? Because I’ve already thought about that.”

Morgana raised an eyebrow. “Have you? Who’s your top pick?”

Arthur hesitated. “Well, I knew that I needed someone who knew a lot about magic and someone that I trusted—”

“If you say Gaius, I will smack you,” Merlin said.

“I wasn’t going to say Gaius.”

“The man has enough on his plate. Now, Morgana doesn’t have to be a court sorceress. Clearly—”

“Morgana isn’t going to be anything.” Arthur snarled.

Merlin sat back in his seat, dragging a hand over his face. He seemed to come to a decision and looked over at Morgana. “Do you know where Elyan and Percy’s chambers are?”

Morgana stared back. “What?”

“You know where the knights’ quarters are. It’s the seventh room in the west sector. Aithusa’s in there.”

Morgana sat up, her face going pale. “What?”

“Aithusa. She’s missed you. Go. Don’t be seen by anyone and don’t kill my friends. I will know.”

Morgana clenched her teeth as her gaze swept between Arthur and Merlin. “This is not over.”

Merlin pursed his lips. “Trust me. I know.”

Morgana rose to her feet and took another look at them. She looked like she wanted to say something but clearly thought better of it as she turned to leave.

Arthur suddenly stumbled to his feet. “Hold up. I am not letting you roam the castle alone.”

“She’s not. She’ll go right to Aithusa and stay there without causing any damage.” Merlin’s voice went hard.

Morgana rolled her eyes. “You’re so worked up, Arthur. Don’t worry yourself. I’m not planning on killing anyone just yet.” And she swept away.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m watching her. She won’t do any harm. I promise.”

Arthur gave an incredulous laugh. “Oh my god, Merlin. I am not letting her back in just for her to betray me again!”

“She’s not going to.”

“Are you serious right now? Has she enchanted you or something? What is wrong with you?” Arthur demanded.

Merlin took a hesitant step forward. “I’m trying to make things right.”

“You don’t make things right like this. It’s too late for her. What do you want me to do? Let her into my court? Let her make laws and policies? Do you really think that the people will accept her? You cannot be around her all time and control her movements. She’s not going to stop until she gets what she wants.”

Merlin shrugged. “So we give her what she wants. Give her a voice.”

“She wants me dead. She wants my throne.” Arthur sneered. “Are you willing to give that to her?”

“Arthur—”

“No, you know what? I lied. I lied.” Arthur reached up to clutch his hair.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don't trust her. And I most certainly don’t trust you. I can deal with a stupid dragon and Mordred, alright? But the moment you brought Morgana into this, you crossed a line.” Arthur said, his voice trembling the slightest bit.

Bitterness curled in Merlin’s stomach. “I crossed a line? Everyone should be given a second chance. Yes, she’s killed innocent people and she’s betrayed us and maybe she doesn’t deserve mercy but I’m giving it to her. And that might be stupid but you know better than anyone that I’m not that smart.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You’re kidding, right? Merlin, you’re the smartest person I know. Don’t think you can play it off like you have a mental affliction. You’re smarter than half of Camelot combined and I might even go so far as to say that you’re smarter than me.”

Merlin staggered back the slightest bit, shocked. “Whatever happened to clumsy idiot Merlin?”

Arthur’s voice went hoarse. “You’re still a clumsy idiot. But you’re clever. You know exactly what you're doing. It’s the same way that you’ve hidden from me and fed me pieces of information that you thought I needed to know so that I could be the king that you wanted me to be. It’s the same way that I'm a complete disaster without you because you made sure that I'd rely on you for everything. You couldn’t dare let anyone else in your way.”

“Arthur—”

Arthur turned away and tried to calm his breaths. “I want Morgana out of here. I don’t care whether you kill her or banish her or strip her of her magic so that she’s useless. I want her gone.”

Merlin scoffed. “You would trust me with that?”

Arthur twisted back to face Merlin. “I have no other choice. I tried to push you away but that’s never going to work. You’ll always be there. You made sure of that.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

Arthur’s eyes were as hard as flint and Merlin had to fight down the flinch that trembled through his spine. “I don’t want to see Morgana ever again. And if I do, I will not hesitate to banish you along with her.”

Merlin suddenly laughed. “Right. Do you think you can handle that? Don’t tell me that killing Morgana is your goal because we both know that that isn’t going to fix anything. It isn’t going to fix us.”

Arthur staggered back. “Clearly. It seems beyond that by now.”

Merlin pursed his lips silent, his chest heaving like he’d run a marathon. After some time, he spoke up, his voice small and trembling. “So what?”

Arthur dragged his gaze over Merlin’s face. His hair was spiked up and messy and his cheeks rosy and flushed with heat and anger. His eyes were wide and if Arthur wasn’t mistaken, slightly glinting in the light. He looked devastatingly gorgeous and Arthur’s heart broke all over again. He reached up and pressed his hands to his eyes and looked away. “Sometimes I wish I never found out.”

Merlin flinched out of the corner of his eyes but Arthur didn’t dare meet his gaze again.

“God, I was an ignorant fool but it was so much easier. I could love you without feeling this weight of— of guilt and—” Arthur broke off.

“Guilt?”

“I always thought that I was the one with the burdens. With the weight of the kingdom on my shoulders and all the decisions that I had to make.” Arthur shook his head. “But I didn’t know anything. I mean, what kind of king was I, if I knew nothing of what was going on in my kingdom? What kind of friend or lover was I, if I knew nothing of you?”

Merlin crept into Arthur’s line of vision. “The friend I wanted you to be. The friend I made sure you would be. And I know I always complained when you called me an idiot or useless but in a way I liked it.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You liked when I put you down?”

Merlin shrugged. “Everyone expects so much of me. Gaius, the druids, literally anyone with magic. But you- you didn’t expect anything from me. I was a terrible servant but you let me be. Honestly, there was probably a point where you wouldn’t care if all I did was lie in your sheets looking pretty.” Merlin looked down. “It was selfish of me, but it was refreshing. Don’t blame yourself for not knowing. You’re right. I fed you particular pieces of information so that you would never find out. That wasn’t your fault. That was mine.”

Arthur bit down on his lip hard. “But I—”

“No.” Merlin moved forward until they were mere feet apart. “You don’t get to do that. You were the king that I wanted you to be. I never let you figure that out for yourself. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought I was doing what's right for you but I wasn’t. I didn’t understand before.”

Arthur stayed silent, not trusting himself to speak.

“Please understand what I’m trying to do. I know that you’re doing what you think is right. And it is right. You’ve legalized magic and that’s good. That’s really good. But you can’t stop there.”

“I know that. I’m trying to do more. If I can get in contact with the druids—”

“That’s just the thing, Arthur. You can’t. As much as I hate to admit it, some of your lords aren’t completely wrong. The camp that you’ve gone to, they’ve mostly accepted you. But there are hundreds of camps out there and a lot of them want revenge. And I don’t really blame them. And I know that you’re trying your best but you can’t do it alone.” Merlin said, his voice soft and pleading.

“Let me help. This is my home, too. My people. Morgana can help. She knows better than me what it's like for us. She’s been out there and she’s met people and seen people. She can help. She doesn’t need an official role and you don’t need to pardon her or anything, but she has good intentions. She just needs a little help to get on the right track.”

Arthur shook his head. “I get that. And I want to help her but it’s too late. The people are never going to accept her—”

“They don’t have to. You do.”

“Merlin, love, you know nothing of politics.” Arthur drawled.

Merlin scoffed. “Please. Who wrote your speeches half of the—” Merlin suddenly froze, his cheeks flushing. Arthur ran back over what he said and then pulled back.

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t— it was natural. I didn’t mean to say that.” 

Merlin snorted. “Right. Because you know that we—”

“Yeah. No, I know.”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Arthur spoke up again. “I can’t pardon her. And I can’t allow her to go to court meetings. But if she promises to never attack Camelot or her people again then maybe we can work out an agreement. Maybe.”

“Maybe. That’s good enough for me.”

“Good. Because that’s all your getting.”

Merlin nodded. “Right, well. I should probably go. Elyan and Percival are probably planning a thousand different ways to kill me.”

Arthur forced out a slight laugh. “Yeah. Good luck trying to get them on board.”

Merlin pouted but turned to leave. He hesitated at the door and for a hopeful moment, Arthur let himself think that Merlin was going to say something else. But he left after a few seconds, the door shutting with a thud.

Arthur let out the breath he’d been holding. He swallowed roughly and backed up to collapse onto his throne with a sigh. The sun was low in the sky and the light tracked around the wide table. Arthur thought back to the round table that he’d used with the knights when they were going to take Camelot back. He thought back to the people that ringed the table. Specifically, the person that sat to his right. Like he always did. 

Arthur ran his hand over the side of the table and thought to the engraved runes that were on the round one. He hadn’t thought much of it before but Arthur knew that his seat was _brego,_ or the royal leader as his father called it. But he’d never paid attention to the small words that read _drylic_ right before Merlin. And Arthur knew exactly what that meant. That magic had a seat at his round table. Not just any magic, but Merlin. After all, who else would it be?

And Arthur sat there thinking until the sky was streaking with red and purple and the bustle of the lower town gave way to silence.

_\--0-o-0--_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got the round table engravings from [this source](https://merlin.fandom.com/wiki/Royal_Round_Table), in case you were wondering.
> 
> that was a ride, yeah? so morgana's fate is still on the line but you should remember that this is taking place somewhere in the beginning of season 4. canon is all messed up but lancelot and elyan are still alive (i can't kill them). did the dochra happen? i'm going to say no for now bc that's too much to figure out. but remember that a lot of really terrible things like 'the dark tower' or smth else didn't occur so at this point, morgana hasn't lost her mind yet, like she did in canon. i lowkey just picked and pulled at parts in canon so the timeline is all switched up but you know, that's the fun of it. 
> 
> i know that at the end of canon, morgana was clearly lost and couldn't be redeemed but we're not at that point yet so it hope it isn't too unrealistic.
> 
> arthur starting to realize what an idiot he is. merlin is conflicted as to what is up with their relationship but it's rocky so let's just leave it at that.
> 
> anywayyy, lmk what you thought and if there's anything you'd like to see <3


End file.
